This Ship wont EVER sink...

I am the Anchor of my own Thoughts.

I am the Rudder of my own Feelings..

I am the Propeller of my own Dreams..

I am the Flag of my own Destiny..

I am the Captain of my Own Ship..

I know I won't let my Ship ever Sink. 

Tagore's line

"Sorrow is hushed into peace in my heart like an evening in silent trees"

What a line.. Amidst all the lines that I have read from Rabindranath Tagore's selective poems.. this line appeals to me a lot..

Oh I believe in Yesterday!

You came in my dreams today
And I got up with a vague feeling
That I was missing something
Until I realized today morning

That the sore wound in my heart
No matter what but refused healing
Ignoring my heart's rantings
Had Turned into a beautiful memory

Of Yesterday!

Happy Mother's Day

A feeble attempt to describe a mother.. But nonetheless, a try! I had written these lines for Maa way back when I was a teen.. But I remember each and every word of it day in day out :)


Mom You are the One.........
Whom I love with whole of my Heart; whole of my Faith
You're my start; You're my end
Above all You are my Best Friend


My day begins with Your lovely smile
It ends with Your kiss Goodnight
My life is centered all around you
I try to imitate whatever You do


An Epitome of Beauty; An Epitome of Grace
So many hardships for us You face
Yet you hide all Your pains
And shower Your blessings; Like the Rains


Whatever I've written is not even an iota of what I fee for You
So I'll sum it here 'cause there's nothing much that I can say


All that I can tell you that each day for me
Is a very special Mother's Day!!


Love you Maa :*

Maa.. the word itself is sufficient.. Happy Mother's day to the most wonderful, beautiful, amazing, magnificent, nice, heavenly, angelic mothers on this planet..

Above all lies Meri Maa :*

My hero

This one's for you Bhai!

Bhai.. Badu.. however I may call you, I love you so much that these words fall short..

You have always been there for me.. You have inspired me.. You have always shown me the difference between right and wrong.. I have always followed you.. You are like a Banyan tree and you have protected me  in your sweet shelter..

You have forgiven me when I have faulted.. you suffer more than me when I suffer due to my own mistakes..

I wonder what I'd be if I hadn't you as my elder brother.. I am always like a twittering bird, but you bring stability in my life. You give me confidence when I feel I can't do things I aspire to.

Times have been tough for us, but you are the one who has been an anchor and it is because of you, that we have survived all these hurdles bravely, that too with a smile on our face.

I love you Bhai.. Be with me always. 

You are my Providence and I'm truly blessed to have you as my elder brother.

Amchi Mumbai: SAB PRIME CRISIS!!

With great power comes great responsibility. Anyone who has seen Spider Man will have these lines etched in some corner of his mind forever. One of my favorite movie clips this one.

So what do you do when there is no sense of responsibility, leave alone a longing for power?

Carefree as a bird, I thought I needed a drive to feel responsible for something or someone, and more importantly an urge to feel responsible for me before I even think about anything/one else.

So I dwell'd on the idea of investment in real estate. :D Ahem

Not a care in the world but a hefty equated monthly installment looming large on my head at the beginning of every month.

NOW! That would be more than enough to make me feel responsible. Or so i like to think :)

A very good read

A little digression here:

I had read The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen way back, and I particularly loved the insights he presented into the Indian mentality of tackling deal making or deal breaking decisions.

One thing that stuck with me from this book, whenever I was present on the doors of the next opportunity, be it college, be it a career move, be it anything, was that we (read Indians) choose not out of choice but out of eliminating all other options that seem worse that what you have in hand.

And I find this whole real investment idea raking my brains, if any :) these days is that because I don't have a drive to be responsible, I'm taking the easy way out, if you may call it so :) by having the EMI as a cane behind my umm, ahem.. you know what :) every now and then.

Lovely book, gotta read it you

We Indians love the cane on the arse than the carrot dangling on our head, isn't it?. (well this was a good one, you must agree. Oh you naughty Indians, there was no pun intended whatsoever) :D

So. A quick decision taker that I am, not because I am intuitively enlightened but for the lack of patience and zero hassle-tolerance level, I opened Magic Bricks :)

And there in front of me was Well Worth Paradise (what a name, digging your well to your coffin with the EMI caned arse.

I took a peak into the icon image, scrolled and gave a cursory look at the various features, layouts and other stuff they got, and I  had decided.

This was going to be my Paradise.

A quick call to the agent happened next. 5000/sqft, 4350 pre-monsoon offer for you ma'am.

I had made up my mind. :)

Then I came home.

To my home in Mumbai, which actually is my parents home!

Glad that Argumentative Indians don't kick their kids out when they're barely adults, unlike Inscrutable Americans. :P (Can't afford another digression on this, for I pity you my dear Reader, tut tut. I have mercy for you, you're saved!)

And the charms of Mumbai played threw its "Brick of Magic" on me. How can I ever think of going away from dhinka chika Aamchi Mumbai.

So I let the whole thing lie low at the back of my mind till yesterday, when whiling away time during coffee break, I came across This!!

And my Paradise magically crumbled back into bricks.. sob sob..

After reading this piece of news in DNA, I for some reason feel that there'll be "Once Upon a Time" time when Mumbai (awesome movie) will re-enact the Subprime Saga, like I know what that is, but whats with a little show off huh?

I don't think intelligent and smart people would be reading this blogpost, they'll be responsible souls dangling and swinging with power singing with a nasal twang.. spider man spider man this outfit sticks in my pan! poof..

I apologize if I've hurt your feelings Dear Reader. Swear. I know you are here because you've got nothing to do and did they not say something like blissful ignorance sometime back.

No offense meant and hope none taken :)

But, whether or not something like Amchi Mumbai Sab Prime Crisis does happen, is something that only time will tell..The demand supply dynamics have always intrigued me and so has this article. (Oh I love Prof. Vijaya Gupta, NITIE, Mumbai who taught Macro Economics during my post grad, she made Economics appeal to me like Swaroski appeals to barbie dolls.)

 A very good research, I must say.

Here are few excerpts..

• Affordable housing in Mumbai is more of a myth than reality if a recent study is to be believed. Only 2% of flats available in the city cost between Rs25-50 lakh, according to a study conducted by Liases and Foras, a real estate research firm. Most of these 1BHK houses are located in the far-flung areas of the city such as Marol and Saki Naka and are surrounded by filth and slums. 
• The average price of a flat in greater Mumbai (city and the suburbs) is Rs2.34 crore, up from Rs2.14 crore last year. The figure for the Mumbai metropolitan region (Thane, Panvel, etc) is Rs1.4 crore compared to Rs87 lakh last year. 
• "The average cost of a flat was Rs27 lakh in 2001. It is almost Rs2.34 crore now. Flat prices have gone up ten times in the past decade. There were 55% slums because of unaffordable houses 10 years ago. The figure is now 70%. If the prices do not come down, more slums will mushroom in the city," 
• Houses which fall in the Rs25-50 lakh bracket find no takers as they are located at neglected areas like Saki Naka and Marol in Andheri (East). ("Who will buy 500sqft houses by paying Rs50 lakh in these areas? People would rather stay in a rented place close to their office")
• The skyrocketing realty prices have forced genuine buyers to rent a place as it is more affordable. Besides, it also saves the time they spend on their commute to office.
• If a person earns Rs20-25 lakh annually, he would want a house in greater Mumbai to suit his lifestyle and needs. But a house in that zone costs over Rs2 crore and is beyond his budget. The other option is to move to the distant suburbs such as Panvel and Kalyan. But he won't buy a house there
• There is a mismatch of aspirations and affordability which has created an imbalance in the real estate sector. The present market does not have a target audience." 
• Earlier people bought houses when they were 40 or 50. Today people in the 20-30 age group are tempted to buy flats. They prefer to stay separately instead of living with their parents. Several flats may be vacant today, but they will be sold in the future because of the enormous demand

P.S: The authors of both these books are Indians. Argumentative or Inscrutable, Indians definitely are "Observative" if nothing else., once again reader, no innuendos here  :)

Too girly, indeed!

I tried making a picture for my blog and here it is. After uploading it on my blog template, I realised that it was way too vibrant and a bit too girly. One of my friends seconded me by commenting the same.

And I took it out immediately. But there was something about this picture that urged me to keep it in some corner of my blog.

The vibrant colors of rainbow turned inside out and the cute pictures of the kitty and the pup are undeniably alluring, to me atleast, if to none else.

Girly or whatever, it stays on my blog :)

Gone with the Wind

If only you had come half way along,

I would never seek going so far apart. 

The disappointed soul, needed as little, 

As open arms and a smiling heart.

I penned these lines which succintly summarize the love, the loss and then the indifference. I'm talking about Rhett Butler and Scarlett O Hara.

Scarlett who had her heart set on Ashley could never realize how much Rhett loved her and cared for.

Driven by a maddening pursuit for Ashley, who loved her but could never have her, she was completely oblivious to the deep love Rhett had in his heart for her. And maybe the thought never came to her mind that Rhett was her husband!

 But, one can endure only to a point until the pain becomes unbearable. Rhett decided to leave Scarlett. And in not so many words, as the sonnet I wrote above, he told her he would've kissed her feet inspite of the infidelity in her heart, had she just walked a few steps towards him and smiled.

Timeless Classic - Gone with the Wind - movie poster

From love to anger to despair to indifference.. Gone With The Wind is a timeless classic of colossal love and loss.

The final words from Rhett to Scarlett, when she is pleading him to stay back, come with such apathy that it strikes your heart. Its become one of those lines from books you can quote any day any age. 

He says,

" Frankly my darling, I don't give a damn! "

P.S. For people who think its a mega mills and boon and for that reason they'd rather not touch it, I must tell you.

ITS NOT. PERIOD.

I loved it thoroughly and its come on my top ten list of favorite books. I'm sure you'd love it too.. :)

A new year and a new beginning!

What a year it has been.. from last Diwali to this one. Most difficult and trying times I ever faced in my life till now. But it is the spirit of Diwali that fills you up with hope and happiness. The colors, the lights, the festivities, the joyous mood, people crowding the streets buying trinkets, diyas, rangoli, and candles, Diwali is one festival that surely boosts your spirit and rekindles the burning desire to look forward in life with anticipation of sheer happiness and prosperity.

I have to acknowledge that this year has been a bit too rough. I have gone through lows that would even beat Marina trench. :) There were times when I felt that I had become just a shadow of a person that I used to be. Fighting despair with a smile, which most of the times was forced, trying hard to think positive, pushing aside miserable thoughts, this year really was a tough time and indeed I am happy I've sailed through it and I can only hope for better times to come.

Despite feeling low at times, I have always been an optimist at heart. And I always strongly believe that God always has his hand on me, even though at times I lose faith and ignore him. I feel that luck somehow favors me, and only good things happen in the end, however bad they might seem like in the beginning.

I am one staunch believer that whatever happens is for good and that is what keeps me sailing through, even when the boat starts rocking, and rocking bad at that. I truly appreciate what I have, and believe that one could not have a more loving family than mine. For me, my family is my 'prizest' possession, and whatever else might go wrong in life, I always have them to fall back on. The unconditional love and support never fails for even a moment.

This day I thank God for all the big and small things I have, and I wish happiness for each and every person on this planet.

And, best of all, I am super happy that this year has come to an end and I look forward to the coming year, and all the ones lined up next, to a life of supreme bliss and contentment.

Below is a pic of the Rangoli I just made. I have filled it with all colors I had with me and though its a bit kiddish, I am gloating just looking at it. :D

Life is beautiful, truly.

My most difficult Break Up ever!

Dear Chocolate,


It breaks my heart as I'm writing this, but I'm breaking up with you. I know this comes as a shock for we've been childhood sweethearts and my relationship with you goes back to the time when I was just a little girl.


I was fond of you then.. From fondness grew love and our love turned into a whirlwind romance. It was sweet innocent unadulterated love.

But when my love turned into lust, I realized I was no longer a little girl. I had become a woman. 

My First Love

That's when our hot and steamy affair started. Oh I craved for you. I lusted for you. I could never apply any self restraint with you, (ahem, not that I ever tried). 


That's when I started becoming discreet about our relationship.  I could never have you when my friends were around for you gave me a  pleasure that showed and it was well er embarrassing at times. 


You're such a devil that way aren't you?  You certainly know what turns me on. (blush blush)


Oh you dark brown devil. You made me your slave. And I thought we were to last forever. Until I met Scale.


I hate to confess. I've been cheating on you. Yes there's someone new in my life. His name's Scale. 
Last week I accidentally tripped and landed on him. No it was not love at first sight or some such thing. But when I looked at him, I had my first brush with reality. 


Yes it's just been a week but what a week it was! An eye opener to say the least. All these years I was blind like the cliched "love is blind" stuff. But after I met him I've realized you've been such a bad influence. 
Of-course you helped me and cheered me up when I was blue. Of-course I wanted to celebrate each and every happiness big or small with you. How you kept telling me you were so good for me and I believed you. But you're such a nasty liar. 


Scale might be boring and I don't think our (his and mine) love can be anything more than platonic. Yes there's no passion or spark or chemistry (much to your pleasure). 

My New Affair

But nonetheless there's one thing about him that sets him apart. Scale never lies. He might tell me point blank I'm fat and I would take it with a pinch of salt. 


But that's way so  better than you telling me with utter sweetness that I'm just fine. Probably you feared I might leave you if you hurt my feelings by telling the truth..  But you've been sinful to have lied to me.

Oh you dark brown devil, I'm going to get rid of each and everything that'd remind me of you.. Oh well there's only one thing you ever really gave me.. Fat!

 Really? After having loved you all my life all that you ever gave me was fat! Shame on you Choc.

You might think I'm meek and I didn't have the guts to atleast break up with you in person. So be it. I'm taking the easy way out and writing to you. 


Because I know you better, I'm sure you would have used yours charms and tried enticing me to get back with you. Knowing me, I am sure it would've worked for godssake you know I can never resist you. Oh I love you still but I guess we're just not meant to be. And I swear I'm never going to see you again.


Bye bye Choc, wish me luck with my relationship with Scale. I'll try not to miss you.


Yours "Not anymore",
-V

The Dint of Determination.. My Dukko

Gumption. I might have come across this word a couple of times before but never have I realized the weight the word carries till today.

 I was engrossed in my novel till wee hours in the morning when at around 5, I saw my grandmother, slowly steadily walking towards me with an enormously mischievous smile on her face. I gave her a quizzical frown and at the same time couldn't help smiling at the childlike naughtiness reflecting from her face.

She said smilingly. "Bathe me."

Its just 5 Dukko! I said. 

(Dukko is one of the many names I loving call her by)

Having been up all night reading, I felt indolent. But then she gave me one more of those impish smiles and I got up pretending a lot of fuss. I shampooed her hair, gently rubbed the loofah soap on her delicate skin and she gleefully indulged herself, while I patted her dry and put over her gown.

She looked beautiful. I held her and kissed her. I had to capture her in a frame, for she looked priceless, timeless!

Over the last few weeks, I had lost hope. I never thought I would ever be able to see her the way she was today, the way she had always been. Vivacious, so full of vigor, so tirelessly active, facing each day with a relentless energy and passion for life. 

She had been reduced to a cripple. Having lost 33 pounds in two months, it was as if life had suddenly sapped out of her, save for her breath. I was shocked to see her in that state. A pillar of strength for all of us, her condition was taking away the vitality in each of us too. She could not sit up, leave alone walk, weakness had worn her down completely. And her incontinent bladder just added to her woes. She reduced her food and water intake to almost none, no matter how much we pleaded her to have just a little .

Resigned to her bed, she would keep staring at the wall painting of Bhagwan Shri Ram, the one she believes in above everything else. It felt as if she was seeking from him, her energy and her health back. 

That, and our relentless efforts paid. Her condition gradually improved and today she is back to her vital old self. 

So when I was taking this picture of hers, she saw a hint of tear in my eye. She acknowledged that tear with a smile. And that smile conveyed how hard she fought to get her health back.

For she has always been a woman full of gumption.

Gumption, one of Scarlett O Hara's defining personality traits, in the novel I was reading - Gone with the Wind -  when Dukko, with the enthusiasm and spark as that of a kid had come walking to me. More on the book later.

I love to

Walk on the grass with no shoes on

Dodge the sprinkler; then let the drops fall on..

Chase a butterfly and run along

Whistle a tune, sing a song..

Spread my arms out and twirl around 

Listen to the gentle rain, nature's soothing sound..

Look up at the clouds and the stars behind

A sense of peace, where else will I find..

Than here on a solitary night out in the country

Where I lose myself in a quest to find....me.